Porn and Sex

 I have spent a lot of my adult and teenage life thinking about how to address pornography and teaching about sexual intimacy with my children in the future. Without a doubt, I know my children, my husband, and myself will encounter pornography on a regular basis; I want to prepare my family now against the harmful effects of porn, and I want to be prepared to teach my children about sexual intimacy on my own terms rather than the worlds terms.

I didn’t know what sex was until I was maybe in 8th grade. I never wondered where babies came from, I never made jokes about sex with the friends I didn’t have, and I didn’t question the used condom that fell out of a boy’s bag in 6th grade. I just wasn’t a very curious kid, and I would say I was pretty chill and kept to my own problems for the most part. I learned all about sex from my 8th grade health teacher during our month or so of sex ed. Most schools don’t have a legit sex ed course, but we learned about pretty much everything. I am thankful to my teacher who was willing to stand in front of 60+ little 14-year-old students and talk about sexual intimacy multiple times a day.

However, I wish I would've been educated earlier about sex. I wish I would have had an intentional conversation with my parents about what was and wasn’t appropriate regarding chastity and learn from a sacred point of view. Instead, and I don’t blame my parents for this, I learned my attitudes about sex from the internet. What social media says about sex is not the same as what temple covenants expect from chastity. Because of this, I had been deceived about the sacred nature of sexual intimacy, and it has taken much of my adult life to tame a monster created by media consumption.

With the world's growing interest in pornography, estimated, according to an article on Gitnux, that “the porn industry is worth $97 billion globally” and “In the United States alone, the pornography industry generates $12-14 billion in annual revenue.” That is disgusting. Most children by the age of 11 will have viewed or come across some form of pornography. When I was 11, I didn’t even know what sex was, and if I had been exposed to it, I don’t know how I would have reacted.

From conversations that I have had with multiple friends, many have openly admitted to having a porn addiction they felt was out of control at some point or another in their lives. One friend was exposed in 3rd grade and watched it up until college. One friend admitted to watching it as a missionary and shared their tender experiences with repentance. One friend shared the struggle her boyfriend, and how husband, had as he had been ashamed of his addiction and was inactive as a youth because he didn’t feel comfortable going to anyone for help or support. One friend’s father was addicted to porn throughout his service as a bishop and was excommunicated from the church during their child’s missionary service. Porn is contrary to a good life. Porn ruins security found in covenants. Porn that is targeted towards children is a sad excuse for marketing techniques.

More than anything, I want my family to have spiritual chains that protect the walls of our home. I want to teach my children from a young age about the sacredness of sexual intimacy and create an environment that they will be comfortable talking to me and my husband. My hope is they will come with the questions that they will have, they will talk about porn when they encounter it, and they will have a concern to repent when appropriate.

I believe the best way to prepare and defend ourselves against porn and negative sexual experiences is to educate ourselves to choose for ourselves to follow Christ, and through our covenants with Christ, we will be fortified against temptation.